The Obsession

Some say that writing is a form of release; an expression of emotions and feelings; the physical representation of thoughts. To me, it's an obsession--a healthy, consuming, constant obsession.

I started writing my first story when I was five. Unfortunately, I don't remember what it was about, but I think it had to do with a rabbit (first stories always seem to). Blessed with parents who were always supportive and understanding, they encouraged my writing and enthusiastically read the poorly strung-together sentences I wrote.

I guess I was lucky because I was met with really positive response to my writing early on. Teachers would tell me how impressed they were at what I was able to do and would ask to keep personal copies of various essays I had written. Looking back, I cannot believe that anyone would like them. But it was exactly the type of encouragement a little boy with a lot of fantasy needed.

Writing has a lot to do with fantasy, technique, knowledge and experience but a certain kind of belief in one's own self is required before you can let go of the doubt and just create. It has nothing to do with being conceited, or thinking you are the best. It has everything to do with believing and trusting in yourself.

It was not long before I started writing my own book. A fantasy book, the untitled project was 282 pages long, a feat considering I was ten years old when I completed it. Again, it felt like a milestone. I wouldn't do anything with it now but, back then, it was the whole world to a young boy full of dreams.

When I was first introduced to the (sometimes not so) wonderful world of TV, it took my breath away! As silly as that sounds. I was not allowed to watch a lot of TV while growing up (certainly not during the weekdays) but, as soon as I was old enough to make the decision for myself, I went into it with a passion. It was a whole new side to writing that I had never considered while reading hundreds of books. Most people do not see writing when they watch TV, but to me it was my first point of reference. It was another world, certainly a different genre, a different type of writing.

I never looked back.

Fascinated by the intricacies of serial plotting, I created a number of original shows from scratch, wrote episodes for them, dialogue, everything. In the following years, I surpassed three thousand hours of television. I continue to write my own shows; one can never be enough. I have to write at least three at the same time (which might be suicidal). For me, it wasn't something extraordinary; it was my life. It was what I wanted to do.

You see, I mentioned at the beginning that writing is an obsession. It is. It is what you think about all day, every day. The character's stories, voices, dialogues are in your head constantly. You plot the next development while you're going grocery shopping, and you work on a specific exchange between two people while you're doing laundry. It's actually quite dangerous if you are prone to talking aloud while working on lines--people give you weird looks as if you are demented. And who has the time to explain about this character and that character and what has happened to them and what is happening and what will happen?

I will never understand so called writers who claim that they get into a "writing" mood every now and then, and expect to make a career out of it. How can you? If it's not your whole life, how can you create? While writing this, I was thinking about the book that I'm writing (this time, hopefully, for real. Cross your fingers). It  never stops. If it doesn't literally burn like a fire inside of you, what's the point?

Obsessions do. It's somewhat shocking to be typing about this. I'm still not sure I should. There is always the possibility that people will think I am completely demented.

But that's the nature of the beast. And on and on I'll write....